My mom is toxic reddit When my mom teases me about marriage, she says "Prince Charming" will say you're MY PROPERTY and sweep you off your feet. Today we were shopping and I was shopping for gifts for my bf’s parents for Christmas. Like I firmly believe my mom may have Borderline Personality Disorder, as she sees others as either all good or completely bad, unredeemable, and out to get her. But my boyfriend shut that down real quick. I am 27 years old and dealing with living with my parents who are somewhat toxic. She uses me as a therapist and expected me to solve her problems. For 60% of the time we were good. I’m 19 and live with him, my mom and dad (he’s my dads father) And it’s so frustrating. Definitely. I was like 7. When I was a child, my mom did have one really close friend. However, we have been arguing for YEARS. 'Mom, (6 year old) is reading so well, she read me two whole books all by herself last night!' - 'Yeah, but are they new books? Oct 23, 2024 · A toxic mother can deeply affect her child’s sense of self, leaving long-lasting emotional scars into adulthood. ️ Background : I'm a F, 26 years old, 1 kid (3 yo DD) with 3 siblings, grew up with both mom and dad in a upper middle class setting. I’ve been NC with my mom for 3 years, and NC with my dad for 1. Gosh I am so sorry that is literally so traumatic. seemingly anything I do gets my mom mad, she just yells over me and gets so angry meanwhile I'm standing there wondering why/how could she possibly be this mad. As a result, you may have grown up feeling emotionally neglected, controlled, or even unsafe. ) Hi, i don’t know of this is even the right place to write this. My mom's control and manipulations made my sister an indecisive and miserable human being. After 10 years of realizing how toxic she is and learning to deal with the damage she did, being low contact from my end with just enough that she still feels connected (because having a discussion would just result in more “I did nothing wrong!” denial from her) has been the best thing for my mental and emotional health. com Yes your mom is toxic. The feeling of freedom is unbelievable. You see, my mom was still a teen when i was born, from what information i have given off stories my grandma would tell, my mom would leave me with my dad and her while she went to go and party with friends. My mom saw our results and was happy for my sister but she taunted me. Jan 7, 2025 · I'm 14m and my life has been the worst my mom through my whole beat me till it stings for and hour or so all over small things like mis behaving in school or spilling drinks or making mistakes and mind you she did this 5-11 years old I got bullied in school they called me gay IN FIRST GRADE AND I DIDNT EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS I got bullied extremely in school because of my personality Thank you! We have a very Toxic relationship in my eyes. I feel so bad even writing this cause i love my mom more than anything. The worst thing she does the harder my mom will TL; DR I'm not sure if my mom is toxic; she often freaks out at me and says mean stuff if I forget to text her that I arrived somewhere. My mom has been constantly judgmental of my brother and I’d significant other. My parents were/are toxic AF. (If a guy tells me I'm HIS property, I'd feel like punching the living daylights out of him and not marry him. She's done the following: Yells at me knowing that being yelled at is a trigger and says she's not yelling nor lecturing me, but she pretty much is Doesn't respect my decision to have kids and tells me I should give her grandkids My brother helped me through it though, but called my mom toxic and said that she’s a bad person for saying all that stuff. That said, my sister asked me to talk with my mom about this. I left my town to the big city for university but when I got to university I slipped into a depression for 4 years. I (34F) have started noticing over the last couple of years, that my mom (77f), who is biologically my grandmother but has raised me since birth, might be very toxic and narcissistic. When someone tried to touch in me that way, my mom literally told me that me leaving my hair down, wearing a v neck and not wearing a bindi was the reason because it conveyed that I was a "loose girl". It has created a toxic environment. Posted by u/groovydoobiedoo - 6 votes and 3 comments My family tried for years to get me to reunite with my toxic mom. For some context, I am 16 and my parents separated around 8 months ago (I only live with my mom because my dad and I have issues), and since then my mom has started dating a new guy (mostly by long distance though). My mom even says my sister has accused her of the same thing. But then my mom (my dad chill tbh, he just doesn’t say much about this) gets stressed or we do something she doesn’t like and suddenly I’m wishing for luck. Now after my sister's death my mom's attention is on me. I agreed. It makes me think she’s defending her pulling the “trouble adulting” thing My mom hates my partner because I want to live with him and not with her. We all laughed it off. They will always be toxic and no amount of therapy or meds on my end was going to change that. Once, my grandma(dad’s mom) my mom and I were talking. She would spend time with this friend frequently and they would say they loved each other. I cut off communication with my mom because of her behavior towards me, my child, my wife and her family. I have a similar mom. My depression is getting worse and I’m afraid I’ll do something I regret. with my mom,i was always wrong. My mom takes my sister's actions as an insult to my her. Advice on dealing with my Mom : toxicparents - redditmedia. ) she had a toxic mom and from that she gave him her input on how our mom treats us. com Now, what really gets me is when she does it to my kid. Eventually I did out of pity for her. My grandmother is equally toxic. SO many terrible stories about horror movie levels of abuse all to remind me that "she really was a good mom. She’s a narcissist and as soon as we took ourselves away from her she lost all of her power. at 9 my sister 10 thought i wouldnt be helped if i told my mom i hurt myself. Btw I have a degree. Hello reddit. My mom is known for guilt trips, my dad is easily driven by anger to the point where I fear him, and my younger sister is toxic/possessive in the way that she constantly tries to threaten me into staying in that house with them by using her life. I have social anxiety and my mom is the loudest person I know, especially in public. then for decades it continued. At first she was like : ok bunny stays in cage and eats leftover vegetables. He’s always been toxic in my opinion but I feel intense guilt since the diagnosis. She probably needs therapy, I know mine does but also refuses. Apr 2, 2025 · Helping her mother cook, clean, iron clothes, pretty much everything. I happily live This subreddit is a Support Group for people struggling with toxic parents or other toxic family members (everyone with toxic family is welcome despite the sub name). I forgive my mom and she’s been out of my life for almost 10 years, but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss her or still have those mentioned feelings. Due to the pandemic I moved back to my small town. Both of them have no control over their emotions and guilt, judge, and manipulate people in order to feel better about themselves. You’re not overreacting, trust me. It’s going fine, I’ve accepted neither of them will ever change. Posted by u/OilMediocre9786 - 1 vote and no comments She constantly picked fights with my dad which can get very nasty (she threatened to divorce my dad in front of me and my sister when we were kids), is hostile to her children everytime me and my sister express independence (she's been particularly nasty to my sister since she was a teenager and she's been very snappy and hostile with me Then he had a talk with his mom and he said she wasn’t happy about the talk. She said yes, but it’s been three months now and I still haven’t gone. I’m an introvert but I wonder if parts of it are because of my upbringing. I’m persian and he is Vietnamese. While I don’t necessarily regret it, she still drives me crazy sometimes and I wonder if I’m making the right decision. Don’t think I’ll be changing that any time soon. As soon as we got in the car my mom just slapped me in the face multiple times and said something about telling what she said. Sometimes I have to remind myself that she’s ill and a product of her own trauma. First my mom was very negative to the point that we had a huge fight. It's her way or drama. she has always been there for my brother and I and always made sure we were safe and fed. She lives ten minutes from me and my family has always been close. I can’t just brush everything he’s said and done and continues to do under the rug because of this illness. Posted by u/Pleasant-Orange9091 - 1 vote and 1 comment But that also doesn’t serve me either in some aspects because I see that I become vulnerable to “motherly” types of women who are equally as toxic. What else? Well you get the idea. She didn’t want me to have a bf, and then she didn’t want me to have a bf of another race. But inside she's a total manipulative woman. Her mom was her whole world, and she lived for her approval and happiness. My relationship was the worst with my mom when she was in menopause, she had terrible mood swings and you couldn’t talk sense into her. Although she's working, she doesn't do anything on her own. She says it's because she's worried about me. My sister and mom have been going to therapy for a while now but I have never been. My dad was 21 and he saw me as his top priority, so he dropped everything to take care of me. Typically, this is because the signs your mom is toxic relate more to how you feel around her. Now note this is just my my mom because my dad is pretty chill. My mom is toxic Ever since I went to college I gained weight and every time I came home for break she would mention about my weight and looks while laughing like she finds pleasure from it. I'm still in contact with my stepdad frequently and talk to him about these things too, when I explain the way she acts he tells me that she did the same to him. I’m partially venting and partially seeking an outsider to help me understand if i’m the bad guy or if my mom is. Now the hard part is maintaining no contact even when they try to pull you back in. " When I pretty much ran away from home my aunt contacted me to tell me that my mom "is a hundred times better than their mom was" and that I needed to cut her some slack. One day our cousin came over and (she works with kids with psychological issues, trauma etc. I know you can do it, you are obviously a very emotionally strong person. I always here her opinion and lectures and she says things like above, over silly situations I feel and it makes me feel terrible. I think it comes with age and her loss of control (since the kids are growing up and she is getting sicker). I still talk to my mom occasionally, but only because of my daughter. My mom gave up everything to raise us, she doesn’t have a life outside of us (even tho we are all adults now) she has no hobbies, friends and my parents aren’t together. None of this is true. My mom believed that having a daughter would automatically give her that same position and would heal that abused isolated part of her. Never… And so that created conflict with my identity growing up. Whenever we go on family trips, my mom just can’t handle her pent up anger and anxiety. I feel terrible making this and making my mom seem like a bad mom but I really need to know if I'm the problem or not. It has been almost 2 years and I haven’t said a word to her. See full list on copingwithlindsey. But they still continue to torture each other relentlessly. NO! Make it explicitly clear that you’re not having her move in under any circumstances. Growing up I wasn’t allowed to have friends, boyfriends or a social life. You might not be able to put a finger on why you dislike the way your mom deals with you. A toxic mom can raise hell and woe unto you if you’re in the line of fire. i said something i was wrong, i agreed and said the opposite, i was still wrong. Over time, Oct 6, 2022 · 15 Toxic Mother Signs to Know. It will stay like this, this time around. Instead of providing love and support, she creates an environment where your needs are ignored or manipulated for her own benefit. After I was with my bf my mom saw hickeys on my neck and made a comment like; "if you're going to start a new job you can't have those on your neck, you're not teenagers, come on" which is hypocritical bc whenever she's with her fwb it's okay for her to show up to her job with hickeys on her neck and not even bothering to cover them up and her telling me how she left a hickey on her fwb's cock I’m 30f and my mother is in her late 50s. At the age of 40. My name is Maddox and I'm 17, I'm coming here to ask for help. My mother loves to see us fight and often instigates these fights. Comparing my mom to my dad, I can freely say what comes to mind with my mom, however if I try to voice my opinions to my dad he will get mad and think I’m trying to disobey him, and thus creating a toxic relationship between myself and my dad which strained out relationship. My relationship with my mom has always been a riller coster. She praises my sister but hates to say good things about me. My dad is the uppity one. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. She’s done a lot from giving us silent treatments, yelling at us, calling us every insult and swear word in the book, she’s even hit us (though it never caused bruising), she’s i (female 19) was raised by a toxic boy mom. Anyway because my mom wants to smooth things over, I pulled out the big guns- I told her I had to be forced to visit because I didn’t want to even come. I read the other comments and yes, your best bet is to tell another adult that's a therapist about all this. I suffer from depression and that makes me highly sensitive and self aware. At first she said I’m rude for telling my parents about things she’s said to me and that I’m selfish and asking to get pregnant if I don’t go on birth control. This is her usual behaviour. The thing is, I know my mom doesn’t actually want to divorce my dad, she wants things to just settle down. She's divorced my biological dad and my stepdad. He’s mom definitely took a step back. My mom, my dad, and my sister each had their own unique way of draining me. My mom had a terrible childhood. My six year old daughter who is SPD and ADHD who has been in therapy since she's 18 months is KICKING ASS in school after a really rocky couple of years. from 10th grade i began to be clingy to my mom which actually made things better as now i got to see the sweet mother side of her rather than just scolding me for things. It is extremely important to tell a mental health professional to help evaluate your next step from here. She also blames our "worsening relationship" on my boyfriend of two years, imo because he gave me confidence to stand up to her. My younger brother was very toxic in a very different way than my mom, and I feel bad saying these words because they both passed away, but I was happiest in my life when I was no contact with both of them and I would tell people that I have never been happier than when I was no contact with my toxic family. Now my parents have been pretty good throughout the whole process but my relationship with them, particularly with my mom, is getting worse. My mom told me I should start locking my door since my sister has so many people over and she just comes in without knocking whenever she wants. Your mom sounds worse than my mom even. My daughter doesn't deserve to have to sift through a bunch of emotional baggage in case she ever wants a relationship with my mom, so I'm keeping the line open just enough to let my mom know how my daughter's doing from time to time. sorry in advance for the long post My mom is a single mom and has been for almost 10 years . Oh my god, you just described my mom's "thing" perfectly. My sister died of cancer recently. Last year, my mom encouraged us to buy a condo together, and she helped A LOT with the downpayment. true. I actually have a good/okay relationship with my mom, but with distance. everytime i would cry because my feelings where hurt she would say im “too old” but constantly baby my OLDER brother anytime he barely hurt himself, if he got in trouble she would drop everything to go get him even if it meant backing out of Posted by u/Queen-pandalove - 2 votes and no comments He then stormed out to tattle on me to my mom and complain about how he “didn’t need to hear my smart mouth” (boi bye) He’s trying to convince my mom to give him the title to her second car. but this is like the sides. I still have my mom in life but I control when and where I see her. . Here we can support each other, share stories, fears, vent and ask questions. But my mom says that's expected because my sister has body image problems and little things like that doesn't bother her. My mother is a normal woman outside. from a very young age all i remember is her constantly belittling any and every emotion i experienced. I am so sorry your family and especially she treated you that way. I thought the friend was great. Because of this she idolize her mother. (My family is lower middle class but my parents live very very frugally to be able to support me financially) -My mom rescued a bunny that her friend was going to throw out. Maybe it does not sound to bad but I remember a phase of just hating my mom and than hating womanhood. I told my grandma that my mom said her water tasted like food because she didn’t have a lid on her water jug. My sister was totally under control of my mom, she could not even purchase a pair of shoes without asking for my mom's advice. I've recently realized how toxic and manipulative my mom is and I want to know if what she does is normal or if I'm just overreacting. Growing up I took notice around age 8, that she treated my older brother (her biological son, my biological uncle) very differently than she treated me. 201 votes, 43 comments. You did a really good thing for yourself getting away from her. It's very draining and now that I have my own child and my husband and I have our own way of what we want for her. She wanted to live with me and had it planned out. (No) He’s literally pushing her boundaries and not listening to her and is doing the exact opposite of everything she’s asking him to do. I asked my mom if she would get me an appointment and it took a while to actually sit down and talk about it. i got blamed for ot being able to do the thing we were going to do, before my mom found out. She doesn't have an opinion of her own. Not my parent but my grandpa who has it. My divorce isn't finalized yet so my emotions are pretty raw these days. I was isolated and already weird before that! My mom took hover mutha/ helicopter parent to the We have 11th grade exams in my college coaching class every Sunday hence I missed Church classes and my result dipped. but idk she is just so hyperreactive? can get offended on really pity things , puts someone's anger on me , hate it when i make a good point and The fact my brother cannot even make tea is proof of that. My younger sister and I are always fighting because of her. She felt it was unfair that my mom was keeping this money from her, which she had absolutely no claim to. I spoke with my mother in the most calm and professional demeanor I was capable of at ~20 years old. But my biggest issue with her is her lack to take responsibility for her actions. My mom is always saying she’s not taking sides even tho this is very concerning and serious. When things are good, then everything in the house is good but my mom tends to go right back to what I am doing that is making her unhappy and she feels the need to consistently talk and lecture me about it for hours. But that is fucking up my life. xtdyokt jpzmq qtryx yxo hmfi jmcphkp zrogjsn pzy vtcmde nlumpz